Friday the 13th: Holiday for Dumbasses
Happy Dumbass Day!
[Note: The following inflammatory commentary is written by a new author here at the Perfect Fool. Introducing the newest incendiary addition to the skeptical blogosphere—Phlogiston!]
Ways to celebrate Dumbass Day:
- Every time you see a news story (newpapers too) about Friday the 13th, you have to drink.
- Every time someone tells you a story about something bad that happened on Friday the 13th, you have to drink.
- Every time some nitwit ascribes any random negative occurrence to the fact that it's Friday the 13th, you have to drink. And swear. Extra credit will be given for swears that cast aspersions on the parentage of people who think there's something significant about Friday the 13th.
Here's some stupid shit about F13 from Wikipedia, adding to the huge mound of evidence that Wiki is ultimately for semi-literate retards.
Dumbass belief:
- "In numerology, the number twelve is considered the number of completeness, as reflected in the twelve months of the year, twelve recognized signs of the zodiac, the twelve tribes of Israel, the twelve Apostles of Jesus, etc., whereas the number thirteen was considered irregular, transgressing this completeness.
The Truth:
There were originally ten months in the Roman calendar upon which ours is based. July and August were added in honor of Julius Caesar and Augustus Caesar. So the idea that twelve is "complete" is relatively new. Also, you could say there are (or were) thirteen tribes of Israel, since Joseph's two sons, Ephraim & Menasheh, actually became the progenitors of their own tribes, each considered a half of the tribe of Joseph. There is no record of anyone—the Jews, let's say—considering the number thirteen as "transgressing" anything.
Dumbass Superstition:
- There is also a superstition, thought by some to derive from the Last Supper, that having thirteen people seated at a table will result in the death of one of the diners.
The Truth:
The whole crucifixion thing is supposed to be GOOD. You know, redemption of the sins of the world, and all that shit? Just how is that "bad luck?" In any case, it's the pain-in-the-ass goody two-shoes who dies. If something bad happened to the normal people, then we'd be impressed.
Dumbass Made-Up "Facts":
- Friday, as the day on which Jesus Christ was crucified, has been viewed both positively and negatively among Christians. The actual day of Crucifixion was the 14th day of Nissan in the Hebrew Lunar calendar which does not correspond to "Friday" in the solar calendar of Rome. The 15th day of Nissan (beginning at Sundown) is celebration of Passover.
The only years near the supposed death of Jesus in which Passover began on a Friday night were the years 33 CE and 39 CE. Pontius Pilate was Prefect of Judea from 26-36 CE. So the only year in which Jesus could have been "crucified under Pontius Pilate" atthe eve of Passover on a Friday is the year 33, which would mean that the thirty-three-year-old Jesus really was born in the year 1 CE. Although historians disagree about the actual year of Jesus' birth, no reputable scholar thinks this actually occurred in the year 1. So the Friday crucifixion business is bullshit, made up after the fact to fit the New Testament crap about being crucified at Passover. (Also, what does any of that have to do with the number 13? The eve of passover is the 14th of the month.)
An interesting fact about Passover is that you have to drink four glasses of wine in the course of the seder meal. Of course, if you're playing the Dumbass Day game, this will be no problem.
Happy Dumbass Day, everyone!
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